Among the Suffering
In front of me sat four convicted criminals, whose crimes would lead many to say, “Lock them up and throw away the key.” According to our justice system, they were rapists and murderers. Yet, we ate pizza, drank sweet tea, and discussed church history as if there weren’t at least four brutal crimes among the five of us. Many people may wonder how I could enjoy such company. Similarly, these men, now four decent Christian believers, live among other inmates who, from a societal standpoint, would be considered less-than-decent company, to say the least. How could I, a Christian on the outside, find love for these criminals on the inside? How could they, Christians on the inside, find love for those around them who have committed—and often continue to commit—extremely heinous crimes? How could we sit there, break bread with each other, and enjoy real, abiding relationships in the company of convicted felons?
From his cell in Tegel Prison, probably coming to terms with the fact that he was no longer a wealthy, elite Berliner but a common, everyday criminal, Bonhoeffer penned: “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”[i] While there are many nooks and crannies in our society where one can find suffering souls, the prisons in our backyards are a potent microcosm of suffering people. The inmates within may be guilty of crimes, but they suffer all the same. Prison is the perfect proving ground to exercise Christ’s command to forgive and pray for our enemies, whether they are one’s personal enemies or enemies of society. In my state of Oklahoma, which, as of 2018, holds the highest incarceration rate per capita in the entire world,[ii] we are never short of opportunities to do just that. One does not have to fly to Africa to find a vast mission field. If a Christian truly wants to serve the marginalized and suffering in our society, they are often found just on the other side of some local razor wire.
Prison ministry can be messy. It can be emotionally draining for people like me, who come in from the outside, and for the Christian inmates who long to serve Christ from the inside. We all find ourselves in unpleasant situations, with unpleasant people, who often have more than unpleasant pasts. It is easy to offer a vague sense of love and forgiveness from afar when the situation asks nothing of us. But enjoying a cup of coffee with a serial rapist? Finding the humanity in the criminally insane inmate sitting right in front of me? That often proves much harder. That is where I believe Bonhoeffer’s idea of emotional love versus spiritual love becomes invaluable for anyone engaged in loving and serving society’s “less desirables,” whether in the free world or behind prison walls.
In his chapter Community in Life Together, Bonhoeffer discusses the difference between emotional love and spiritual love. Emotional love comes from the “impenetrable urges and desires of the human soul.”[iii] Spiritual love, on the other hand, comes from our relationship with Christ and can only be given by God’s Holy Spirit. Emotional love is not hard; it comes naturally and usually results in some emotional benefit for everyone involved. It requires nothing and can be taken away as easily as it was given. Spiritual love is quite the opposite. It requires a relentless love that is not swayed by the emotions of the moment. It requires one to look past the flaws of the other. It expects nothing in return. It is not given based on status, nationality, religion, sexuality, criminal record, or what one can offer society, and it is definitely not dependent on outward appearance or personal hygiene (a detail that is particularly important in prison). Spiritual love can only result from a relationship with Christ, who acts as a mediator between people who have little in common. Spiritual love is based on one’s decision to follow the One who loves all—or, as Bonhoeffer put it: “Emotional love loves the other for the sake of itself; spiritual love loves the other for the sake of Christ.”[iv] Bonhoeffer elaborated on the two types of love:
“Emotional love makes itself an end in itself. It turns itself into an achievement, an idol it worships, to which it must subject everything. It cares for, cultivates, and loves itself and nothing else in the world. Spiritual love, however, comes from Jesus Christ; it serves him alone.”[v]
So, whether it’s an inmate living among society’s less desirable, a Christian in the free world involved in prison ministry, or anyone ministering to the marginalized, we should wear the goggles of spiritual love when dealing with “the least of these.” If that proves difficult, consider asking God for help. Loving a murderer may be hard. Loving a child murderer is harder still. Loving a rapist may be hard. Loving a child rapist? There we find the perfect proving ground for Bonhoeffer’s concept of spiritual love. That is when we all—both free and incarcerated—need supernatural assistance to shift from an easy, emotional-based love to a much harder, truly extraordinary spiritual love.
Bonhoeffer’s life and writings naturally bent toward the oppressed and those on the margins of society. He once wrote: “God consents to be pushed out of the world and onto the cross; God is weak and powerless in the world and in precisely this way, and only so, is at our side and helps us.”[vi] Bonhoeffer may suggest that one is more likely to find God with the suffering prisoner than with the celebrated church leader—regardless of that prisoner’s past and hopefully forgiven crimes. From his own cell, Bonhoeffer wrote: “Human religiosity directs people in need to the power of God in the world, God as a deus ex machina. The Bible directs people toward the powerlessness and the suffering of God; only the suffering God can help.” While it is tempting to look negatively on the drug dealer, the human trafficker, the rapist, and the murderer, it is important to remember that it was among these very kinds of people that Christ suffered and was crucified—one even accompanying Him to paradise. Once we come to terms with this truth and our own sinful humanity, spiritual love for the suffering yet guilty criminal is not an impossible task—with God’s help.
